Sexual Assault Stories

I was fifteen…

I was fifteen the first time I had my first boyfriend. I remember the day he asked me out. I originally did it off of a dare (because he was my crush) and it turned out that he liked me too. I was so excited. I had so much energy that I remember going for a run to get all the energy out of my system. My first boyfriend. It was wild. I finally had a boyfriend after all this time! It went well initially. We were each other’s first kiss, first date, all that cheesy corny stuff. After a while, as many teenagers do, we tend to get sexually frustrated. I remember being really nervous at first because this was my first time and I wanted to keep my innocence. My cousin at that time also got his girlfriend pregnant who was also fifteen so the pressure to be good was on me as well since me and my cousin were the same age. It ended up not going that way. He would pressure me into getting fingered because we had been dating for so long and we needed to keep progressing sexually as a couple. When I would tell him no, or please stop you’re hurting me, he would get mad at me making me feel guilty as though I didn’t really care for him. I would do the stuff he would ask from me because I felt as though I had to despite that it hurt. This went on for a few months and my Mom caught on that he would get mad at me a lot but she never really knew why. To this day, she still doesn’t know that he would get mad at me because I wouldn’t do sexual favors for him – making me feel guilty that my boyfriend was upset with me and ending up doing those so he would happy. I didn’t realize what this was until I was much older and had conversations about sexual assault and molestation. As I grew up I felt that I couldn’t say no without my boyfriend getting mad at me so I didn’t even if I didn’t want to. I would just do whatever so he would be happy disregarding my own happiness. Fernando, you really fucked me up and when I confronted you about it you denied it saying it wasn’t like that. Being young and naïve, I never thought that my own boyfriend would molest me – I never thought it was something that happened. However, living through that experience has made me stronger and realized that people will take advantage of you and realize that I did nothing wrong. Consent for one time does not give consent for other times.

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